Fostering Self-Reflection
It can be helpful for educators to consider whether teaching and learning are occurring in an environment that supports satisfaction of basic psychological needs and affirms students’ authentic values, provides opportunities to identify and grow personal strengths, and supports pursuit of their personal goals. A variety of student self-assessments designed to elicit meaningful self-reflection and self-discovery about values, strengths, and goals exist. Below are general descriptions of these important concepts and links to additional resources.
Values
Think about the principles that are most important to you in terms of guiding your behavior. When you have a decision to make, what beliefs help you determine what is the best option to select? For many people, values are the foundation upon which their behavior is built.
A value is an intangible moral, social, or aesthetic principle indicating what you authentically believe to be good, desirable, or important about yourself, others, or the world. Unlike a goal, which is a physical or abstract object of a person’s ambition or effort (an aim or desired result), a value reflects an ongoing process and serves as a general guide for action within and across various domains of life.
These domains include intimate/romantic relationships, parenting, family relations, friendships, work/career, education/personal development, health/physical wellbeing, spirituality, community life, and leisure. Our values provide the rationales for our goals.
Consider what is really important to you right now. What personal qualities would you like to develop? How do you wish to interact with others? How do you wish to feel? What would it mean to be your best self?
How satisfied have you been in your ability to live and experience each of the core values?
Consider both personal and professional aspects of your life. How do you wish each of your core values to manifest in your activities and relationships? What does each core value look like in action?
Strengths
For many students (and educators), the negative impact that learning differences can have on an individual’s identity, life satisfaction, opportunities, and self-esteem paints a pessimistic picture. While the traditional medical model, grounded in deficit-based descriptions of pathology (i.e., a focus on what is wrong with a person while ignoring what is right), aids diagnosis and treatment, it may also serve as a reminder of impairment and inadequacy, particularly when these differences are viewed as a fundamental attribute of a person rather than something a person is simply experiencing.
A strengths-based (or assets-based) approach, which focuses on individuals’ personal strengths (i.e., positive traits and abilities, including knowledge, attributes, skills, and talents) and social supports (i.e. caring and supportive relationships) rather than on their deficits, offers a more holistic picture of a person. Consideration of strengths helps individuals set and accomplish goals by directing attention towards those aspects of life that are working well, what they value about themselves, what brings them satisfaction, and what they want to continue developing.
Another way students and educators can reconceptualize a learning difference or diagnosis is the concept of mirror traits, or “the positive side of the negative symptoms” (Hallowell & Jensen, 2008, p. 83). For example, consider the presentations of distractibility, impulsivity, and hyperactivity associated with Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
In some circumstances, might “distractibility” be considered a form of curiosity?: “… your turbocharged curiosity may lead you to look into the nooks and crannies of life where important secrets and great discoveries hide themselves away” (Hallowell & Jensen, 2008, p. 178).
Are there some instances when “impulsivity” might be considered creativity?: “You don’t plan to have a creative idea… No, creative ideas do not come on schedule. Creative ideas come unbidden and unannounced” (Hallowell & Jensen, 2008, p. 181).
Might hyperactivity also be considered simply having an abundance of energy?: “Describing hyperactivity also as energy, thereby allowing for a good side or a mirror trait, allows… people who have ADD with hyperactivity to feel proud rather than ashamed” (Hallowell & Jensen, 2008, p. 184).
By reframing some personal difficulties and challenges in this way, one can more accurately describe the totality of a student’s being, rather than only emphasizing the problematic aspects of these qualities. Students who have experienced a history of personal and academic challenges may find it difficult to even identify their strengths. For individuals with poor self-concept, persistently low self-esteem, and insufficient social support, this reframing may help them identify personal strengths and it might be one of the few opportunities they have to feel good about themselves.
“The key is to make the strength the headline and the problem the subhead… Simply identify strengths, talents and possible talents, interests and possible interests, potential strengths, hopes, dreams, enthusiasms, desires, and wishes as soon as possible. Shine a light on those.”
(Hallowell & Jensen, 2010, p. 70)
A strengths-based approach is not simply about semantics or ignoring difficulties. Rather, it recognizes an important fact, which is that many of the impairments that are characteristic of particular learning differences are situationally-variable, meaning performance is “highly sensitive to contextual factors, such as reward, nature of the task, and internal cognitive and physiological factors” (Brown, 2013, p. 1). This emphasizes the importance of environmental factors, including the quality of the relationships students experience. Students benefit from unconditionally caring and trusting relationships with adults who can patiently and persistently perceive and affirm students’ unique gifts and contributions.
“It is the feeling of positive connection, a feeling of being cared for no matter what, a preverbal sense of belonging to something positive that’s larger than yourself. If a child—or a person of any age, for that matter—has that feeling, right action will eventually follow…. The whole idea… is that you have to capture the heart before you can open the head for change.”
(Hallowell & Jensen, 2010, pp. 28-29)
Self-reflection: Strengths are those aspects of yourself that make you feel good and help you accomplish goals. Consider your personal and professional strengths. What are you most proud of about yourself? These could be strengths you feel you have always possessed or those you’ve worked hard to develop. They could be strengths for which you are often praised or those of which only you are aware.
Goals
A goal is an object of one’s effort or a desired result that requires imagination, planning, and commitment to achieve. A goal can highlight important values, provide a sense of purpose, and direct one’s actions.
When setting goals, it’s important consider:
short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals,
the values underlying one’s goals,
the imagined benefits of achieving one’s goals,
the required strengths and skills (those you already possess or the acquisition of new ones),
specific actions to take, and
potential obstacles and plans to overcome them.
Further, it can be helpful to reframe a life problem or difficulty as a goal instead. This requires awareness not only of what you don’t want, but also of what you do want. For example, a person might reframe a life problem such as “frequent arguments with a family member or co-worker” as a goal such as “having stronger, positive relationships and constructive conversations with others.”
Self-reflection: Consider various domains of your life (e.g., intimate/romantic relationships, parenting, family relations, friendships, work/career, education/personal development, health/physical wellbeing, spirituality, community life, and leisure).
What kinds of activities and interactions with others do you find pleasurable and meaningful?
Are there any aspects of your life you would like to experience more fully?
What would your life be like if things were the way you wanted them?
Educators can invite each student to “examine his or her goals more closely, considering both the satisfaction and the frustration involved in pursuing a specific goal, to ensure that accomplishing the goal is worth the effort…and to examine how the…goals align with his or her values.” (Sleeper-Triplett, 2010, p. 390).
To help students deconstruct grandiose, long-term goals into smaller, manageable, concrete goals, they may be asked to identify at least two smaller goals that will help them achieve their big goal and any new skill they may need to develop to get started.
Action Steps
Action steps are the simple, clear, and concrete actions an individual identifies and commits to taking daily and/or weekly to achieve their goal(s). Using open-ended questions, educators can invite students to brainstorm their own potential action steps. This empowers students to lead the process and take ownership of their ideas and actions.
Some students, especially those with learning differences, may experience additional difficulties with planning, organization, and time management. Therefore, it is important for educators to support students in describing their action steps in a specific and detailed manner.
Students can also be asked to identify some potential obstacles (i.e., unhelpful thoughts, aversive feelings, and problem behaviors, or financial, social or other barriers) that could interfere with them achieving their goal(s), and some ideas (e.g., strategies and social supports) they have for overcoming those obstacles.
Accountability Plan
An accountability plan describes how each student will keep themselves accountable in completing targeted action steps and working towards their goals. It can also be a way for educators to stay informed about students’ progress and offer additional support and encouragement as needed.
The accountability plan should describe what the student is willing to do to keep themselves accountable, and how they would like a teacher, coach, parent, or other adult to support them in their efforts (e.g., a “check-in,” or brief in-person conversation, phone call, text, or email).
Reward System
Rewards (internal or external, invisible or tangible) can serve an important role in motivation and performance, particularly for some individuals with learning differences. Positive reinforcement and adaptive behavioral routines help these young people decrease their emotional frustration and sustain engagement on tasks that are not intrinsically motivating. Rewards can provide an immediate incentive to help the students progress through action steps and goals.
Importantly, rewards should be realistic, genuinely desired, guilt-free, and self-chosen. As with goals and actions steps, students are invited to brainstorm their own potential reward strategies, including the exact reward, timing, and duration. Some common examples of rewards include watching television or a movie, playing video games, or hanging out with friends.
If a reward, such as a financial incentive or privilege, requires the time, approval, or resources of a parent or teacher, the student may be encouraged to discuss and confirm the acceptability of their chosen reward ahead of time to avoid surprises, disappointments, or conflicts. In a coaching relationship, a student and coach may also rehearse those conversations if the student believes it would be helpful.
12 Questions for Coachees to Consider When Setting Goals
What do you most want to achieve in the next month, six months, or year? Be specific (e.g., what, where, when).
Why do you wish to achieve this goal?
How important is this goal to you (e.g., on a scale from 1-10)? Why is it not less (or more) important to you?
What are potential costs of pursuing this goal (e.g., health, emotional wellbeing, social or environmental impact, time, or money)? Is achieving the goal worth the costs?
How does this goal align or conflict with your core values?
What (if any) similar alternative goals would you consider?
What strengths, skills, or resources can you use to achieve this goal?
What are the specific action steps you will take to accomplish this goal? When and how will you do it?
What are some potential internal (e.g., unhelpful thoughts or emotional triggers) or external (e.g., unproductive behaviors, access to money, or permission) obstacles that could stop you from achieving this?
What are some ideas you have for overcoming obstacles to your goal? Be specific about what you will do and how you will do it.
How will you keep yourself accountable? What are some ways your coach, teachers, family members, or other adults in your life can help you keep yourself accountable? Would scheduled check-ins or reminders be helpful for you? How (and how often) will you communicate with these individuals about your goal?
What are some ways you can reward yourself for making progress on your goal? Confirm with others (if needed) that this reward is realistic.
Student Self-Assessment Resources
Coaching self-assessments like the VIA Character Strengths Survey and the CliftonStrengths Assessment are meant to orient students toward self-reflection, provide immediate encouragement by focusing on students’ strengths and what is important to them, and prime them for the kinds of personal explorations they may engage in throughout a personalized coaching engagement. These tools and processes also allow educators to better understand students and their needs. Students’ responses can inform how educators teach and how coaching agreements are created. Importantly, self-assessments are meant for educational purposes only. They are not meant to be graded or used as a personality test or mental health screener. Introducing self-assessments at the beginning of coaching engagements allows coachees to become familiar with the process of self-exploration and may inform their goal setting efforts. For some adolescents, however, it may be more effective to introduce such activities later in the coaching engagement after rapport has been established and only when it addresses a coachee’s particular needs and interests.